This Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television landscape of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.